Wrinkles have become very interesting to me. I am fascinated by advertisements about serums and articles about treatments and department store displays of crèmes that will smooth furrows and decrinkle creases, and balms that will spackle the shit out of your canyons. It used to be that I was fascinated by pore-refining, acne-fighting, oil-sopping medicines and moisturizers. Suddenly that seems like the good old days, when I would get a zit and have to cover it up with a little bit of makeup, or not give a shit and just look like an overgrown teenager. But it turns out you can't hide wrinkles with makeup, and that is very, very upsetting to me. I have suddenly got wrinkles, and when the hell did that happen?

One of the nice things about being fat--it fills out the lines in your face. Your skin is full, plumped up, luscious and soft. There is no crepeing, sagging is reduced and furrows are more or less eliminated. I spent a lot of time being told that I looked way younger than my whatever number of years were--partially that is because I am a very silly person--but it was also because my fat was nicely rounding out the delicate skin under my eyes and blocking up the lines on either side of my mouth. When I lifted my eyebrows, my forehead did not crumple up into a series of gullies, and I never thought to worry about aging or under-eye creams. I rarely wore sunscreen, because I would never age! I have The Face of Eternal Youth!

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