aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Pretend it's easy like Sunday morning every day this week. Play some Snore-ah Jones, light some candles, buy a new board game and cook a few of your favorite things. Sure, your neighbors might think you're being held hostage by sensualists, but it's just what you need this week.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Don't underestimate your powers of persuasion: you can have whoever and whatever you want this week. Okay, you can't have Brad Pitt or Scarlet Johanson on a bed of Cool Whip. And you can't have your own personal squad of fairies feed you grapes and lovingly administer you seltzer hi-colonics. But if you set realistic goals and stop short of begging, you can probably score this week.
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