Photo via Splash

Oh dearest Product Fienders, gather ye round, and let me tell you the tired old story of the night yours truly groped, I mean met, the diva, or divo, that is Tom Ford.

It was a launch party for Black Orchid, his sensational debut fragrance that may or may not "smell like a man's crotch." It was the balcony of Top of the Rock at Rockefeller Center, and the place was decked out in black sateen and plum tapestry, plenty of celebs and champagne, not to mention my sorry ass. What a treat! (This was also the night I chatted with the revered Andre Leon Talley, but that my friends, is another tale...)

Anyway, I was minding my own business, seeing to a serious champagne bender and gossiping with former Allure Beauty Director (and my mentor) Kristin Perrotta, when a publicist tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I'd like to meet the man, the legend, that is Tom Ford. "Of course," I graciously slurred, and was led to a medium-tall, dashingly handsome man who bore a more than striking resemblance to the photos we've all seen in Vogue. "Well hi darlin'," I drawled, but one breath short of, "How ya doin'?" he had drawn me into his bosom, nestled his lips against my neck, and whispered, "You smell great!" Now, this was a self-serving compliment you see, as I was doused in Black Orchid. Naturally, after that rather intimate introduction, we chatted for about 20 minutes afterward. We had a lot in common, you know: Raised in Texas, check. Lived in New Mexico, ditto. Escaped it all to pursue the glamorous life in New York, yessir. Love dirty, sinfully fabulous scents, oh yeah. Two peas in a pod, really.

I never forgot that night. That's why, when I finally got my hands on this dang Viole de Fleur, a lighter version of "man crotch" smell as translated into shower gel and lotion, I rejoiced. Finally, something as wearable (not to mention sexy), as Tom Ford round your neck! Cheers...