Image via In Fiore

Oh, I am fortune's fool. My favorite new facial product is tainted, and I have no one but myself to blame.

It all started when I got my grubby little fingers on my latest In Fiore obsession, a delicious concoction of herbs and spices also known as Lustra Cleansing Balm Concentre. I think it did more for my oft-punished mug in one week than a whole month of Proactiv Solution ever did, and if they're ever interested in contacting me to do Home Shopping Network commercials or whatever, well, sign me up! (Though somehow I get the feeling that's highly unlikely.)

So I had to travel for the 20 millionth time last week, and since a major drawback for a jet set gal such as I is that this jar isn't really TSA-friendly, I was sadly forced to leave it behind. Imagine, if you will, me a week later, stumbling in from a kill-me-with-another-layover West Coast red eye, jumping in the shower, and looking forward to one small pleasure and one alone: slathering that sweet sweet Lustra balm all over my tired, sagging face. I unscrewed the lid, I inhaled deeply, I feasted my eyes on the prize, and lo and behold: The surface of the product was covered with spots of fuzzy, foul mold.

I hurled it to the ground in disgust and continued showering, half-heartedly blinking back the tears. I racked my brain: where did I go wrong? I knew it probably had to do with getting water in there and all--I may be a Product Fiend but I'm not a complete moron--but I've shed water in many a bathtub delight and never, in all my years, seen something like this go down in my boudoir. Could this be a real live, honest-to-god, no-bullshit preservative-free beauty product?

I contacted In Fiore headquarters in San Francisco, and they assured me this was so. Did I not see the directions, they asked? No, I did not. They emailed me a copy. Right there, at the end of a very long list of superb ingredients including lovelies such as chamomile flower, rosebuds, cypress, oats and red clover (among many others, none of which said "parabens" or "petroleum"), was the ominous warning:

This is a LIVE product that is activated by exposure to water. Please keep product out of shower or bath to avoid exposure to water and steam and store in a dry place away from moisture.

Oh.

I vowed to change my sloppy, let water slip and slide here and there ways. "I only let a teensy bit in, I swear!" Alas, I'll never get the chance to mend the error of my ways, as Lustra is currently plum sold out. So there you have it.

Curses, foiled again.

Why did I force you to read through this whole arguably trite and boring personal recollection? Because one, I want you to feel my pain. I mean really feel it. And two, for those of you who went out and bought a jar of your own (I'm assuming some of you did, since they're SOLD OUT right now), please, I beg of you, don't make the same mistake I did.