Image via La Prairie

La Prairie does not try to woo us with information about the ingredients in its products. What's in the Cellular Eye Contour Cream, you might wonder? Well, you're going to be wondering for awhile, because they just aren't going to spill. It might be water. It might be orchid petals. It might be ground-up puppies. You just don't know. But do you care? Not really. Not once you smooth this lux product around those peepers and whammo, two weeks later, you're strutting your shit down the red carpet with Ashton Kutcher.

La Prairie's Cellular Eye Contour cream promises it does the following:

• Maintains skin's ideal moisture level
• Softens, smoothes and nourishes
• Corrects dryness; inhibits dehydration

Very nice! We know they use magnetically polarized water from the Alps. Are you impressed? You shouldn't be, it's just water. Soy proteins are in the mix, too. Sadly, La Prairie doesn't offer free samples at a handy counter and is not available at sample-friendly stations like Sephora or Ulta, so you may not know until you try it. At $120, it's a gamble, but if you come up with the perfect amalgamation of reduction in fine lines and smooth, younger looking skin around your eyes, it's worth bringing the La Prairie counter person at Saks a frappuccino, then hint around that it would be nice if she could hit you up with a little La Prairie love.