Image via Clarins

You game? I'm up for anything: if not motivated by perfect skin, then by unadulterated morbid curiosity. Speaking of curious, this strange press release, hyping up Clarins's new Younger Longer Balm, just landed in my inbox. Given this is the company that brought me my favorite all-time crow's feet spackle, Instant Smooth Perfecting Touch, I was more than willing to give it a read-through. Some of the highlights after the jump...

The following fascinating Q & A takes place between Lionel De Benetti, Clarins Global Director of Research and Development and, apparently, a publicist:

Q. What makes children's skin so fresh and soft?

A. Their skin is working at an optimum level and is totally self-sufficient because their network of thin capillaries can continually provide moisture, oxygen and nutrients. They also have perfectly functioning nerve endings, which coordinate the activity of our cells. Since both the capillaries and nerve endings are working, they are able to properly communicate and keep skin firm and wrinkle free.

Q: What happens to our capillaries and nerve endings as we age?

A. Capillaries change and become more scarce. Their walls stiffen, decreasing blood flow. At the same time your skin's nerve endings begin diminishing, which reduces the blood flow and circulation. This causes the skin to lose its radiance and wrinkles start to form.

Q. What have you developed to target this breakdown?

A. We have found that with two vegetal extracts--Maritime Pine and Centella Asiatica--we can help to protect and repair capillaries, increasing cellular communication. Glistin, Vitamins A, E, C, Butcher's Broom and Green Algae are also ingredients that help protect the skin's nerve endings, increasing hydration and nourishment to the skin.

Q. What is the recommended usage for this product? 

A. The texture of this product is a balm, making it a great nighttime treatment. It doesn't replace your other products. Instead, it is best to alternate it with your favorite night cream. The effects of the product will last, so use your regular firming product one night and Younger Longer the next night.    

Q. What immediate results will women see when applying Clarins Younger Longer?

A. More toned and hydrated skin. If you use Clarins Youth-Stimulating Method to apply the product, you will also increase stimulation and allow for quicker delivery of the nutrients in the skin.

Q. Can you explain the Youth-Stimulating Method?

A. It is an application method that should be done each time you apply the product. To start, put two pumps of the product on your hands. Gently rub your hands together to warm the product as this helps with the product's absorption rate. Lightly dab the product on the cheeks starting closer to the nose and working out toward the ears. Do the same light tapping movement on forehead and chin. Finish with light tapping motions around the eye and then gently press the entire hand down the neck. A leaflet explaining this method can also be found in every retail product.

Q. What kind of long-term effects should users expect?

A. Radiant and firm skin with an increase in blood circulation.

Q. Is there anything else that I can do besides using this product?

A. Of course! Schedule regular facial treatments for yourself that do not include the use of steam and extractions. Visit any of our Clarins Skin Spa locations to experience our signature application techniques that improve your skin's quality. If you don't have a Clarins Skin Spa in your city, you can also go to any Clarins counter and ask schedule a complimentary facial treatment. A highly trained Clarins Instructrice de Beaute will give you a 40-minute facial and teach you how to do the Clarins Youth-Stimulating Method.

I swear people, I cut out a lot. The original was a lot longer than this. Seriously. Now full-circle back to curiosity. Yes, I'm anxious to get my hands on Younger Longer Balm and give it a whirl. But what really gets my attention is the answer to this last question: "Schedule regular facial treatments for yourself that do not include the use of steam and extractions." What's in god's good name in facialists is so wrong with steam and extractions? I am going to write this guy and ask. You just watch. Stay tuned ladies!!!