Image via Lancôme

I've always been a little conflicted about super-fancy body products. I have more important things to spend my money on, like martinis and crap like this. But after my friend at Lancôme sent me a sample of their new Nutrix Royal Body Intense Lipid Repair Body Cream (here's the older version), I have to say, this is worth a few sober nights. This stuff is laced with a dash of everything. Okay, get ready for it: royal jelly (rich in, ahem: glucose, fructose, proteins, amino acids, lipids, vitamins B1, B2, B5, and B6, potassium, calcium and magnesium), palm oil, corn oil, hazelnut peptides, and something the press release refers to as "HEPES, a gentle skin renewer," which reads a little too close to HERPES, but oh well, they can't all be winners.

Anyway, long story short, I basically doused myself in this stuff post-shower. So much so that I practically slid out of the bathroom into my boyfriend, leg extended suggestively from my Frette bathrobe, and dared him to cop a feel. He did, and just as I expected him to attack me with uncontrollable lust, he looked at the residual gunk on his palm instead. "It's a bit greasy, don't you think?" he asked, aggressively wiping his hand on his jeans. "Whatev's," I shot back airily. "Well, maybe it hasn't sunk in yet," he suggested. "Smells good though!" Hmph. All I know is, it's five hours later, I've been out for a bike ride, met a friend for coffee, and cooked spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and yet my skin still looks and feels softer than my Frette sheets. Not greasy at all. So there.