Image via Lierac

Sometimes you get beauty tips from the darndest places, and in this case, it's from a near novel-length pamphlet from French skincare brand Lierac, going into great detail about eye care (and of course, cleverly inserted Diopti product  placement). Here, I'll summarize, because no one, except maybe me, has time to read this thing.

1. Why use specific products around the eyes?
Duh. Next question.

2. Why do "bags" form under the eyes?
Not sure what the quotes around "bags" is about (it IS ironic when you get "bags" though, no?), but the short answer to the question above is that "fatty tissue" around the "fine" "eye skin" forms a "small hernia" (OMG). "Factors" like "genetics," "stress" and "fatigue" can contribute as well. Try their Dioptigel to combat.

3. What causes dark circles?
Ah, the million dollar question! Poor circulation prohibits blood pigments from moving through the vessels and creates a discoloring backup. (NOTE: This must be why smokers tend to have undereye circles.)

4. What causes puffy lids?
Inadequate lymphatic micro-circulation in the eye area. Even a 5-year-old could tell you that! Try not to drink a bottle of wine before bed, get plenty of sleep, and try Diopticalm or Dioptigel.

5. Can I use my usual day cream in the area around my eyes?
Short answer: Sort of, but not really. Shorter answer: No.

6. Can a single product solve every problem?
No, because so many things can go wrong down there. (Blogger's note: I have some ideas on this...we'll talk later.)

7. How can I prevent upper eyelid slackening?
Eyelift honey! Okay, kidding. Regularly apply Diopticreme, and "try gentle pinching movements on the upper eyelid, working outwards from the bridge of the nose to the outer eyebrow."

8. Crow's feet?
Start using Diopticreme at age 20. Too late? You're screwed.

9. How should eye contour products be applied?
Carefully! Massage very lightly with circular movements. For dark circles, tap lightly with fingertip to stimulate circulation and encourage product absorption. For puffiness and "bags," try DIY lymphatic drainage: gentle pressure will help encourage the flush of toxins.

10. How do I take off eye makeup?
Apply remover to a damp cotton pad and gently wipe in an upwards motion. (Translation: Don't be trying to scrub it off in the shower with bar soap!)

11. Cosmetic surgery for under-eye bags? Discuss?
Surgery is for very severe bags or hereditary ones that won't budge. Post-op, you will have blue-tinted marks in the eye area (Madonna much?), so use Diopticerne to help fade them.

12. Eye makeup for contact lense wearers...help!
Use a non-greasy eye makeup remover, choose cream makeup instead of powder, and avoid those tricky newfangled mascaras with the crazy fibers in them. Better yet, take your lenses out before you remove the makeup, wear sunglasses outside, and if your eyes get red, use Diopticalm.

And, scene.